In the rooms of OA your hear this a lot. Find someone who has what you want and ask them how it was achieved. In the OA HOW rooms especially in Minnesota there is a lot of physical recovery. A lot of lost weight maintained for years.Physical recover is a good way to see that people are not using food in abusive ways.
A body badly burned by food does not often recover overnight nor do twisted thinking and depression vanish in a twinkling.
I know that at some meetings, they place emphasis on how the long-term abstainer looks to the new comer. They strongly suggest that as a ‘old timer’ you come to the meeting early, sit in the front row and dress to show the meeting important to you. In the readings we do for the tool of service, we are told that our biggest service is our abstinence. I have been thinking about the first time I came into the rooms and was under the wrong impression it was just like any other diet I had ever done. All through the meeting I heard people say Get a Sponsor… Get a Sponsor… Get a Sponsor… So I got a sponsor. She had also had Gastric Bypass so that was a plus for me and she was thin. Super thin. She also was sponsoring too many people. She said she would be my temporary sponsor. Great. She said, “You can use my food plan until you go to your nutritionist.” This should have been followed up by an explanation of how important getting a food plan that is suited for you and your life. Getting the correct food plan is paramount to making sure you get your very personal nutritional needs met. Nope my little addict control freak brain said AHA! I have the golden ticket to be super thin, you must eat just like this plan. So I took said plan to my good friend/neighbor/nutritionist and said I want a plan as close to this as possible. I am so embarrassed now because I didn’t let my friend show me what she does best. She is a brilliant gal. I am sure the food plan she had for me would have been great. Nope, I had this food plan given to me by one of the thinnest members of our group! Ok here is the other reality of the situation, my sponsor was 5 foot nothing very slight build and I think in her fifties and from my understanding didn’t do a lot of exercise. I am 5’6″ muscular build and my life is full of movement. I sometimes wonder if my white knuckled stark raving abstinence really came to a stretching halt because I was really starving. I treaded water in the program for 68 days. Maybe if I had been nutritionally sound I would have found more serenity. I had gone from vast amounts of calories to not enough for my body. I left the program knowing I would be back. Six months later, I came back to program with my old food plan ready to work my way up that hill. I kept slipping. For a lot of different reasons (mostly excuses) I now in hind sight think that it may have been a major player. So finally I find a sponsor who has what I want… years of abstinence… a semblance of joyous, happy and free… an easy-going nature I have not seen in many in my life, and a clear understanding what our program is all about. She is such a good guide in the process. Bringing to light things I would not have thought about. For example, She kept questioning me about my hunger levels. She asked me if I thought I was getting enough food. Finally I checked in with a Nutritionist that has many HOW clients. She said my food plan was way too few calories. I switched. The scales stood still a month and has steadily gone down 4-6 pounds a month ever since. Abstinence has been so much easier with out the feeling of hunger.
I am now seeking how can I do this in all of my affairs. Find somebody who has what I want and asked them how they did it.