I do believe it is possible to stop the monkey chatter that my disease of compulsive over eating set a blaze in my head. I know that because now at 310 day abstinent I am feeling serenity in a situation that would have had me in a brainstorm if I was in the sugar. My family left town for the weekend. They will be back to celebrate Mothers Day with me. I had work and OA obligations that kept me in town unable to go to our cabin. In the past this would have been a green light for my disease in all of its forms. I would have been able to have whatever I wanted to eat, I could go out with friends… I could party like a rock star. This is not how I live anymore. I know that one bite back into the sugar will lead to me back to doubled over the toilet….. heart racing… tunnelled vision from hypoglycemia. I know that because that because my research and development committee has proven without exception this will happen over and over and over. I have heard it said many times
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
I don’t start the cycle any more and when I feel like starting I pick up the telephone before the food. I tell myself if after the phone call I still feel like eating sugar would be worth it I will go ahead do it. For the last 310 days the phone has been enough to remind me who and what I am. I am a compulsive over eater. God help me. (and he does when I ask for it) I am who I say I am.